Christ found a Buddhist kid

My Buddhist Childhood

At a tender age, Mother taught me daily to memorise the verses of the Buddhist mantra. I used to like one classic mantra (Avalokiteshvara) which had a melodious and sophisticated flute music accompaniment to it. Yet, God was never really intimate in my life. God was high and far away from me, only to be sought after with many righteous merits and charity. However, it was a daily routine to burn incense to various idols at home in specific order, and serve tea and food in good portions.

I was unsure how the gods or ghosts, spirits or demons could feed on burning incense as their source of food. But the Chinese Taoist mythical legends never failed to fascinate me with many interesting characters in the spiritual realm. Movies and dramas depicted the heavenly dynasty with powerful deities such as the Buddha, GuanYin, the supreme Jade Emperor and his bureaucracy, the Goku Monkey King, the ground deity, door deity, ah... Please stop me already.

It is quite amazing how every Kampung Cina (Chinese village) in many Malaysian residences have several houses dedicated as temples painted in sharp red. I remember walking with Mother to the nearest temple intersected in the modern terraced houses, which was billowing with incense smoke and choking me to tears every time. And I had to keep my piousness by bearing the pain for longest possible.

In Elementary 6, the family bliss soon began to decay with a broken marriage. Depression hit Mother and the Temple mistress (she named herself Guanyin to perhaps adorn herself with the deity power) assisted in many religious rituals to cast out the so-called evil in her. She claimed she saw things that were other-worldly, in visions or real life. I did not linger on the argument if it was mental illness or demon possession, I was only concerned about recovering the cracking family bond. We moved from house to house, from Taman to Taman, due to superstition about the wicked spirit that caused all these chaos might just be restricted to the premise. Crying was frequent during those months. One day while Mother was sane, she sent me off to live with my classmate in preparation for UPSR (Elementary school final exam).

"Neighbour's relative offers to foster you ya know? They can take better care of you."

I thought of it as they being my short-term guardian until my family stabilized. I did not reject until

"but they are Christians." 

Oh no thanks. I was not about to give up my heritage from my ancestors.

"Yes true that, if their Christ was great, He would have come down from the cross easy!" 

I did not know the Jesus' story enough to comprehend that. 

1Corinthians 1:18 "The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are saved it is the power of God." Today, I understand why Paul was rather agitated with the scorn and mockery against Christ, and indeed God has "chosen the foolish things to put to shame the wise" (1:27) Jesus of lowly Nazareth (John 1:46) became the Messiah Saviour of mankind, not as a mighty King of worldly kingdoms, but as a lowly servant sacrificed on the cross. This was a ridiculous story plot to staunch Taoist/Buddhist Asians.

Regardless, Mother had private conversations with my foster-parents-to-be and I ended up legally adopted and put to better care with a new family. It was a miraculous arrangement by God, like broken cloth pieces getting weaved together meticulously, and gradually remolding me from a broken vessel into a new one. As a 12-year-old, exposure to the True Jesus Church was completely new and foreign experience, yet not at all uncomfortable. Then, a new story unfolded.

My Heavenly Father

I will not delve into deep bible study. My main defining experiences in my conversion was the preciousness of the intimate bond with God as my Heavenly Father. More preciously, before the world was founded, God chose, and predestined us to adoption as His sons (Eph 1:4-5) 

No longer was God far and aloft, only to be pursued with complex rites and rituals, and a scoreboard of merits and charitable deeds. But worship is in Spirit and Truth (John 4:24), and salvation is by grace not of works (Eph 2:8-9). 

I clasped my hands in prayer, kneeling with my eyes closed, and started with "in Jesus' name I pray", as if to connect a phone call to Jesus, and talk about everything like a childish boy to his father. He hearkened my many prayers, answering in His mysterious ways. 

I did not demand many things but I made known to Him my desires as of any mortal man, in good grades, friendship, learning of English and public speaking, and sometimes girls... I smiled, I whined, I cried in my private prayers. 

Recounting those days when I was a Buddhist, the time I knelt before the Ground Deity was by Mother's punishment, compelling me to feel remorseful for my mistakes. I remember one time I knelt at the open porch at the Sky Deity, I felt falsely accused and burning with so much shame as the cars passed by, I rose up and ran away from home. 

Oh my point is, God is above the heights of man-made rituals and legends yet so lowly and humble to be our Friend. God is the highly exalted Almighty Creator of heavens and earth, yet willing to be small enough to dwell in my narrow hearts. 

John 3:16 God crafted a mysterious yet amazing salvation grace for all who believe. God loves us so dearly that He promised to send us a Helper to help us understand this grace, "which the world cannot receive" or understand it (John 14: ). The Holy Spirit is bestowed upon man, to keep His commands and inherit the heavenly kingdom (Eph 1:14). And He will not leave us orphans despite the sinners that we once were. Hallelujah, may glory be given to God. 

Let this serve as my first chapter, first post. Can't wait to share more next time!

find out about my church at www.tjc.org